Black Diaries
by Yukitsu
Summary: Koenma is forced to write about the horrors of a Mary Sue, and his struggles to remain sane, for the sake of the three Worlds and his Tantei. Come on, admit it, those 'OCs' get annoying at times. XD
1. October the Nineteenth

Black Diaries  
_by Yukitsu  
Disclaimer: YYH is not mine. Mary Sues are also not mine._

_I haven't been to the YYH section for a long long time. And when I browsed through... the sheer amount of Mary Sue fics just shocked me. Consider this a tribute. _

* * *

**Date: Nineteenth of October**

What has gotten over my Father, the Great Enma? What wrong have I done to deserve such a fate? I have decided to start this booklet of horror, to keep a record for the future leaders of this world to keep in a few centuries' time. History must not repeat itself. But that is... if Reikai does not fall before that Time.  
  
My poor Tantei, they haven't an inkling as to what my Father has pushed me to do. No, wait. Perhaps Kurama and Hiei would be able to survive... they are after all, the coldest of the lot.  
  
Tomorrow. Tomorrow, I shall introduce the wretched Woman who has somehow tied my Father around her little finger to my beloved Tantei. I am helpless before Her, as my Father is. My Father has refused to tell me what relationship He has with Her. My Tantei, I wish you the best of luck.  
  
I have to go -- the Wretched one has found the closet I have been hiding in.  
  
_--Koenma_


	2. October the Twentieth

**Date: Twentieth of October  
**  
I loathe what I am about to put myself and others through, but for the sake of all the future generations of Reikai, Makai, and Ningenkai alike, I must divulge every single detail of what the Worlds are currently experiencing. Nothing shall be kept a secret. I cannot stand to remain in Her presence, let alone stand observing Her, yet I must, for the good of All.  
  
The Being whose name escapes me for the moment (quite probably due to its length and swanky pronounciation) has origins from the gods and youkai alike. In addition to this rare trait, She also has the inherent power from Her dragon blood, and the natural charm of humans. She appears to have other blood in Her, but I could not bear to stay longer in the same room anymore, to ask Her of the details (which She seems to be fond of telling). Her ability at spell-weaving is uncanny -- I have seen the males of my Father's elite guards fall before Her spells. But I am aware of Her Evil. That is an advantage blessed unto me -- I will not give in.  
  
The Wretched one is the embodiment of Light and Dark, two powers that no one can parallel when brought together. Something at the very pit of my body stirs at the thought of the horrors She can unleash with this power. It is fear, so deep and profound makes my hair bristle and my skin take on the color of milk. There is no shame to admitting my fear. She claims to be a match to the three Makai Overlords combined -- and I do not wish to press my luck and ask Her to confirm it (as much as possible, I try to avoid bringing Her attention to me).  
  
Yet with all this power, She plays the perfect damsel-in-distress! It confuses me how one such as Herself would manage to fall off a tree, right into the waiting arms of my Tantei. My expectations, surprisingly, were not met. When I introduced Her to the Tantei, She all but latched on to Kurama and Hiei. And to my great disbelief, they were very complacent! I saw Her spell-woven threads wrap around them, marking them as Her prey, just as She did my Father. Kuwabara, bless his human soul, seems to be most immune.  
  
Forgive me, Kurama, Hiei. I was not able to warn you of the great Danger that is Her in the flesh. Perhaps She knew of my plan, for with Her falling-from-the-tree act, She also quite successfully interrupted my rather hesitant introduction. The Wretched one possesses the powers unknown to mankind. My only wish is for your valiant bravery to prevail over Her threads.  
  
I must resist the tendrils of Her spell. Staying in my toddler form, it seems, provides me with added immunity. As much as it pains me to be looked down upon, I shall endure, for the sake of All.  
  
_--Koenma_


	3. October the TwentyFirst

**Date: Twenty first of October**  
  
It has been a tiring day. The Fates are against me. Just when I was about to start with the stack of documents as tall as I am in toddler form, my dear Father sent for me. Tea, He said. Sure, I replied. How was I to know that my Father was only asking after Her welfare? I have been a bundle of nerves lately, so quite contritely, I snapped my reply at Him. Any other time, and He would certainely have... er... punished me for the act. As it is, He merely blinked at me, and looked disappointed at my 'No idea' answer.  
  
This from the very being who had the ability to make me wet my dia-- pants with a mere glare alone. What has She done?  
  
I tried to glean as much information about how their relation came to be, my Father and the Wench. Instead of replying, he went on a tiring oration about Her more endearing qualities (escape was not an option, unfortunately. You can only imagine my horror). It was time for supper by the time He finished explaining how Her hair was the color of obsidian and ebony, and He debated with Himself about the true color of Her eyes all throughout the meal. I care very little for Her -- quote-unquote -- 'seagreen eyes and Her perfect heart-shaped face with those rosebud lips.'  
  
I suppose it was my fault. I had the gall to contest His claim by saying She had pink eyes, like Botan. Hmm... perhaps She has the capability to change Her physical characteristics to match Her victim's taste? I can only hope for the best.  
  
Early in this afternoon, before the supposed Enma-Koenma bonding time, Kuwabara marched in my office and demanded to know why I hated him. When asked what gave him that idea, he displayed a most ghastly set of scratches along his upper arm. The Wench, my Tantei exclaimed (complete with the froth and spit and purpling cheeks), had threatened to scratch his eyes out the next time he complained of Her habits. It took a great deal of work, but Kuwabara calmed down long enough for me to explain my inability to help their situation.  
  
Surprise surprise, he was perfectly understanding. It seems that I have found an ally in the human (probably from our immunity). He agreed to spy for me, and that is a great step in my plans for the Bi-- Her destruction.  
  
With that in mind, I shall sleep well tonight.  
  
_--Koenma_


	4. October the TwentySecond

**Date: Twenty Second of October**  
  
Fortunately, today was spent in the confines of my office, clearing out stacks upon stacks of documents. Where normally, I would rather be out with my Tantei, or welcoming every possible excuse to distract me from my other worldly chores, She has forced me to appreciate solitude. Nothing in the three Worlds can possibly make me seek my Tantei out now.  
  
I had tried to research for Her weakness, too. It vexes me to think that after more than a thousand pages as big as I am in toddler form, I have found nothing but nonsense about Her 'wonderful beauty' and 'immense power'. How were those supposed to help me?!  
  
On a lighter note, Kuwabara came by today. I shall have to ask Botan to give him a compact communicator, so he wouldn't have to travel all the way from Ningenkai to Reikai. It wouldn't do us good if She becomes suspicious of us.  
  
His news is ghastly, but something that perhaps, we will be able to use. It seems that my earlier theory was correct -- what people (males, mostly) see when looking at Her is what they want to see with regards to color. Kuwabara claims that Kurama sees red, whilst Hiei sees green. Kuwabara also said, that he sees red too. This, I believe, had a double effect on him. As much as he would like to be attracted to Her for She bears Yukina's lovely red eyes, it annoys him because most of the time, it reminds him of Hiei.  
  
Note to self: Find someone with pink eyes (other than Botan) to hate.  
  
She seems to have attracted a lot of attention from ordinary humans. I specifically told them to not to bring Her outside Genkai's temple, but did they listen? No. They just HAD to listen to Her whines and give in to Her sultry suggestions. Or atleast, that's how Kuwabara makes it sound.  
  
A headache's coming up.  
  
_-- Koenma_

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Thanks to the reviewers, by the way. I appreciate the support.


	5. October the TwentyThird

**Date: Twenty Third of October**  
  
Things are not looking good. Two days into the sleuthing and She seems to be onto us already, or to Kuwabara, at least. Apparently, Kurama told Her about his little interrogation. Kuwabara had to exert great effort just to get to my office undetected. He said he'd still continue spying on Her, for his friends' sake and for his own as well, but he has to lay low.  
  
I already have Botan attending to Kuwabara's compact communicator. We should be able to lessen suspicions that way. If there is something I should be relieved of at the moment, it would probably be the fact that Kuwabara never drew attention towards me. When She became suspicious of him, he found excuses (lame or not) for his actions, all the while leaving anything regarding me or the Reikai out of it.  
  
Still, I should be more careful with my attitude towards Her. It is simply way too early for our little rendezvous to be discovered.  
  
As for the Great Enma, I am afraid He is an almost-hopeless, if not already hopeless, case. He has just been going on again about how pretty, how magnificent, and how wonderful She is. He said She probably has more of Her godly origins in her. I say She has more of Her dragon blood in Her than She should have. Of course I didn't say that out loud. I couldn't. I mustn't, not now. Especially now that She has an inkling that someone is spying on Her. I must try my best not to draw attention to me. I cannot let anything ruin my plan. It should be pursued no matter what, for all the three worlds' sake.  
  
_--Koenma_

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This chapter had been written by **Tanuki,** a very good friend of mine. She asks for you to be kind. XD

Also, the author -- Yukitsu -- would like to thank the following for the reviews and cookies. o.o Hiei'sbestbuddy888, Keieda Tenshi, Oni Tenchie, Kute Anime Kitty, and Reis. Lots and lots of thanks!


	6. October the TwentySeventh

**Date: Twenty Seventh of October  
**  
My sanity is very slowly crawling out the window. Do you know what the Bi--Wench did?! She cajoled (more like seduced) my Father to let my Tantei stay at Reikai! Does She not have any idea as to how BUSY Reikai's palace is?! It is not a mere hotel you stay in when you need a vacation!  
  
And they have work to do! To avert attention from Kuwabara, and because it is a matter of life and death, I gave them a mission. What does She do? She asks to stay in the more 'royal and grand' rooms of Reikai, and because She's 'gotten attached to the Tanteis' (more like Kurama and Hiei), She wants them to stay too! I tried to contradict -- goodness knows how horrible the experience would be -- and She had the gall to be angry.  
  
But then, I suppose I made a mistake too. I announced to them that the enemy this time around is Her twin brother (Enma have mercy on us. There are two of them!). I thought that they would reject Her, or distrust Her even in the slightest of ways. Her threads have been wound, knotted, and pulled taut -- my poor Tantei couldn't escape from Her grasp. Instead of my prediction, they even sympathized with Her! I mean, Yusuke, I can understand, but even Kurama and Hiei?! And in retaliation to my 'backstabbing,' She clawed at my neck, and left gashes. Have I mentioned that Her claws are poisoned?  
  
Yes, poisoned. I have been ill these past few days. Yay for me, you can just imagine my horror when they sided with Her. How did I turn to the antagonist this time around?!  
  
I apologize for the lack of... flair in my writing. My patience is fast being used up, throttled, and buried under tons of Makai soil. If this goes on... I... I don't know what I'm going to do.  
  
Oh fu--damn, they're coming to visit me. (Another reason why I haven't been writing, actually)  
  
_--Koenma_


	7. 

I cannot stand this anymore. Does anyone know how to kill an immortal? Surely someone's that powerful....

Somebody.... **Kill me now!**

_--_ _Koenma_


	8. November the Second

**Date: November the Second**

No. I shall not explain my less-than-coherent previous entry. It is much too painful.

It has been a tiring weekend. Halloween brings about many suicidal humans. Too many. But then, this is normal. Holidays are usually the busiest days for us, especially during Valentines day (I wonder why...).  
  
Who am I kidding? This particular holiday was so bad, because of the fact that little miss I-own-Reikai wanted to bring every sad individual who died back to life. That simply isn't done. It was their time to die, and no one can alter the course of history. But nooo, She just had to insist on it. And horror of all horrors, my Tantei actually agreed to it! It took all my manipulating skills and whatnot to convince my Father and my Tantei that it simply cannot be done.  
  
I mean.... That's over two hundred thousand people....  
  
They're all still staying here; for what purpose, I do not know. They are on a mission, for Enma's sake! While She's enjoying the luxuries of the palace, Her twin brother's wrecking havoc upon Makai and the three Overlords! Even Yomi and Mukuro's sent for assistance, and that has never happened before! And She claims that She is more powerful than Her brother....  
  
Enma save us all.  
  
_--Koenma_


	9. November the Fourteenth

**Date: Fourteenth of November**

The last fortnight has been _hell_. There is no other way to describe the horror that we have all been forced to go through. Hell.

The Wench's twin brother, who I shall call the Savage from now on, decided to attack Reikai and kidnap his twin. _Alone_. Do you have any idea as to how much effort and resource we spend on Reikai's security? And then this... this... _troll _just waltzes in with a nice handy broadsword, decapitates everyone in his path, catches the attention of my ferrygirls, and swoops in to his Sister's 'rescue'.

_Please_. I'd have given Her to him limb by painful limb if I had been given the chance.

That happened nearly a fortnight ago, just after I wrote my last entry, during midnight when Reikai's security was at its _**best**_. The arrogant little Bas--Savage did not only succeed in halving my army of guards, he also humiliated the palace! Me! _Can you believe the ne--_

I digress.

My Tantei had been caught unawares. Yusuke got knocked out, Hiei and Kurama were thrown out of the palace to Ningenkai below (thank Enma Kurama knew how to fly...), whilst Kuwabara had been left to protect me. I cannot put to words my gratitude that Kuwabara had been left to me. None of my Tanteis are as trustworthy as Kuwabara is, I'm telling you.

As I was saying.... The Savage picked his sister up, kicking and screaming all the while, and left the palace with a last grand boom to satisfy his sadistic little streak. Where I have no complaints about the disappearance of the Wench (one has to wonder... She did say She was stronger than Her twin), my Tantei thought otherwise. Barely five hours later, when Yusuke woke up and the two oh-so-gallant Kurama and Hiei returned, they charged off to 'rescue' Her, again.

They dragged me with them. Oh joy.

And they got caught. Just my luck.

Perhaps I was too delusional when I declared my Tantei unbeatable. Because here comes this guy who weilds this fat, clichéd broadsword, and my Tantei goes down in thirty seconds flat. I just spent the last fortnight jailed in some clichéd dungeon without a decent bathroom and bed, with all my Tanteis squeezed in with me.

And guess who decides to free us.

That's right. Her. You can only imagine the grovelling my Tantei -- with the exception of my most trusted Kuwabara -- were prepared to do. The dimwitted Bim--Woman decided to stay with Her twin, for some reason or another.

For now, I am thankful to be back in my suite in the palace, without Her presence tempting me to weild my unholy demigod powers right at Her face.

_--Koenma_


	10. November the Nineteenth

**Date: Nineteenth of November**

Since my return to Reikai, I have done nothing but work. They don't have any idea as to how the pile on my desk grew over the two-week (forced) absence. Why, it has even occupied half the floor space of my rather large office! In the ningen saying... _Please, give me a break!_

The oddest thing happened. I lost my journal for a day or so. When I got it back, there were other-worldly writings on it!

To Miss Dark Moose.... Yes, I agree. Enma help my Tantei. They have been doing nothing but sulk and mope about since getting back here. I'm half tempted to boot them out of my realm, if just to not hear them whine about Her loss. Then again, they have a lot of people to answer to. Especially Yusuke. Keiko isn't very pleased with him. This is frightening? I should hope so.

To Miss Sakurasango, are you by any chance a sadist? It seems to me that you're just waiting for something horrible to happen to me.

Itsuki, when did you come back? Is Sensui's body still with you? Enma knows how you got your paws on my journal. You were the one who took it, weren't you? But it's back, and for that I am thankful. I also thank you profusely for wishing for my well being.

People feel for me. As flattering as it sounds, I would not wish for civilians to feel my pain. Thank you for the concern, Miss whowhenwhat. Or should I say Miss Virgin? Is Torranin well? I should hope not.

That is a wonderful idea, Miss Hedi Dracona! I am, however, at a loss as to how Kuwabara will manage that feat. Should I warn the ningens who will be reading this journal in the future, should my efforts prove successful? Perhaps a large silver skull on the cover, and a note that this is only for the strongest of hearts....

Yes, Miss Sapphire Angel. It just gets worse everyday. What I did to deserve this, I will never know. Perhaps over the course of my seven centuries of life, some being became very displeased with me. Perhaps this is the manifestation of seven centuries' worth of sin. Enma save me.

Miss Fey Wind, as much as I would like for the whole thing to end now, it can't. She is still among the living, and tormenting us. No, until She has been sealed off (better yet, reduced to ashes), this horror cannot cease to progress.

Some... commentators are rather intimidating. Koenma-chan? You dare address a demi-god with -chan? But then, since you do sympathize with me, Miss Tweetyboo, I shall let it slide. I also appluad you for spotting the implication of Kurama and Hiei's eyes. Couple that with Miss Hedi Dracona's suggestion, and it is bound to work. If only I can get them together....

CWolf2, She is not just destroying my Tantei's characters, She is sucking them of their life and identity. Did you know that Kurama and Hiei have started letting Her call them odd, sappy names? You do not just call youkai with sweet nicknames like "Kura-pookins"! When this is through (if this nightmare ever ends), I shall never let Kurama and Hiei live this down. Never.

It is not funny. Why do people find this amusing? This is a matter of life and death, DarkWarLordofDoomness! If She succeeds, the three Worlds will fall! I am a very underrated god. My Father always took everyone's attention....

Humour? SPS-kun, you must be mistaken. This is, as Miss Hedi said, horror. I prefer calling it merely the statement of the truth, but not many people can handle the truth.... Then again, humour is a nice way of putting it. If you're not currently suffering from Her effects.

Why Shizu. I first beleived that it was Itsuki who stole my journal. Perhaps it was Kuwabara? How else could you have gotten your hands on this? As much as I would like to do as you suggested and 'weild my unholy demigod powers in her face' it simply cannot be done. There are things that my Father can do, and giving back life is one of them. All the energy stored would then just be rendered useless.

Keiko. The girls. Thank you for reminding me of them, Signorina da Fiamme. Perhaps they can also aid me in my endeavor. Goodness knows how Keiko has been displeased by what has been going on. Alas, she had been left in the Ningenkai whilst her fiance is (unfortunately) here in my company.

Are you quite serious, Doom Squirrel? There are beings who are immune to these so-called Mary Sues? Beings who can keep Her away from my sanity? If they succeed, I promise the life of grandeur for the next millenia!

I must admit, that instead of becoming frightened by these... commentators, it has spurred me on to be stronger. She cannot win. Her twin has started advancing on Gundara, but until Yomi and his army falls, I have time to come up with something to save the Worlds.

_-- Koenma_


	11. December the Twenty Sixth

**Date: Twenty Sixth of December**

I sent them out. The whole unruly bunch of them. I expected better from my Tantei, but no, they disappointed me. You would think that with the influx of deaths (suicides, homicides, murders, freak accidents -- you name it) this holiday would keep them off my back, but no, it had to be 'Let's save Her' this and 'Send us out there now!' that.

Insensitive little bas-- detectives.

But yes, the Wench is still in Her twin's hands. This fact, I am quite grateful for. I doubt my ability to be able to keep my temper and sanity with Her running amok in my palace. I only wish my Tantei could have kept their adorations to themselves. But I suppose it is all right now -- I booted them out (nearly used up half of Fuumaken's power, since I haven't really recharged it properly yet, but heck, anything to give myself a break) back to Ningenkai. I'm sure they liked that. Heh.

Kuwabara says that Keiko is in a fit, due to Yusuke's in attentiveness to her. May she please teach my Tantei a lesson.

On a lighter note, it seems that the Savage, the Wench's twin brother, has decided to allow Reikai a moment's respite. The arrogant little fool probably thinks He'll do us a favor, since we're up to out necks in deaths. But who am I to complain about that? Atleast the Savage is not wrecking havoc on all three worlds at the moment, the 'how' as something I have yet to figure out.

It is tiring, my work. Even (demi) gods need rest, and I haven't had an hour of sleep since a week ago. Hateful Ningenkai holidays.

_-- Koenma_


	12. January the Sixteenth

**January the sixteenth**

Since when has significant and important celebrations become mere commercial events meant to hoarde money in for the wealthier populace of Ningenkai? The Christmas trees have hardly been packed away, and the world has been decked in various shades of pink and red. Not to mention those hideous heart shaped knick-knacks that don't have any resemblance to the living organ....

The deaths for the turn of the year has dwindled down to a mere few, almost nothing, only to have been replaced by lonely bachelors, widows, widowers, dumped teenagers, everything! When has being single been a crime?!

Speaking of singles.... I wish Kurama and Hiei would get over the Wench and just shag each other. That would make my life so much easier to deal with. Since the despica-- poor little darling returned here, they have done nothing but coo and fawn over her. Yes, I had to let them come back -- they are, after all, youkai. Yusuke was far easier to keep stranded in Ningekai, but with Hiei and Kurama....

She claimed to have managed to escape from Her twin, injuring the Savage along the way. I suppose that was a favor for me, seeing as the Savage has been indisposed as of late. She has given me time to recover from the shitloa-- pile of work I've had on my desk and regain sufficient energy I wasted on kicking my Tantei out off my realm. Then again, I don't know whether to be thankful She took care of Him temporarily for me, or be depressed that She is back under my wing.

A bit of good news, however. Keiko beat some sense into her lover over the past fortnight. Yusuke now appears to be very sane and very unadoring when it comes to mentioning Her name. Or so he wants us to believe. My most trusted Kuwabara is suspecious, however, and says that Yusuke is merely admitting defeat to the better looking Kurama and Hiei. Keiko as a mere consolation? Heavens forbid!

At any rate, nothing dangerous has really happened as of yet, the (not so) odd deaths and my sanity not counting. I wish Ningen holidays didn't pop up one after the other in quick succession.

_-- Koenma_


	13. February the Sixteenth

**Date: Sixteenth of February**

They have launched an attack. Reikai had been caught off-guard due to the influx of death on Valentines day - we failed to notice the unusually high count of souls coming in. We had gotten used to it, seeing as Valentines is the busiest day of the year.

That information had been abused. The Wench has been proven a spy for Her Savage twin brother. They had been planning on attacking the Three Worlds since day one.

I feel like such a fool for not acting upon my instincts before they took the step to destruction. Ningenkai have been stormed, and the Reikai palace seems to be the next in the list. We are not holding the fort well, I'm afraid. Our numbers have diminished due to the effort in trying to save Ningenkai from certain doom, but alas, it had not worked.

My Tantei have been next to useless - Kurama and Hiei are somewhere between heart-broken, shocked out of their wits, and tempted to join Her ranks. She has no need of them, however, as She and Her brother were enough to conquer Ningenkai. I pray that assistance from the Makai will reach us before we fall too the pits of Hell.

Yusuke had been torn apart emotionally by Keiko's disappearance - I fear that her soul has been put in limbo, as Reikai cannot function at the moment and send someone to ferry her soul to us. What happened to the god old times when anger fueled power?

Only Kuwabara has remained faithful to me, but I see the weariness in his eyes, in his countenance. The impromptu war had taken much from him; his sister, his parents, perhaps even Yukina. We will not know until contact has been made with the Meikai, but I swear on my seven centuries of living that I will do everything in my power to reunite them, as soon as this war is over.

But I fear that this War will not end in our victory. Much have been lost, and not even the gods can do anything to help. The Wench and the Savage are wise - they sealed the only beings capable of harming them into another dimension, exiled until one of them gives up the key.

Perhaps the only reason why I had not been captured along with the rest of my peers is because I have angered Her. I was the only one against Her recruitement, I was the only one She could not fool.

My perception will be my curse, but I would suffer through this a hundred lifetimes again, rather than be blinded by Her shine.

Kuwabara is beckoning me - I hear the enemy swarming in the main entrance. I am at a doubt if I will be able to enter another narration in this book that had first started out with only blank pages, but it will not hurt to hope.

I bade you good bye.

_- Koenma_


End file.
